Sunday, April 17, 2005
S.51 allows for a simple majority in the US Senate to vote to execute judges based on the judge's record of decisions. Many people are worried this may be a little extreme but it seems a reasonable counterbalance to judges being appointed for life. So you end the life, appointment ended, no conflict with the constitution. Problem solved. Uncle Joe Stalin found this an expedient method.
Those obstructionist judges in the Terri Schiavo case? Gone. A judge makes a judgment coming down hard on corporate crimes of major campaign donors? Gone. This may also help free up the congested court dockets. Fewer people will bring legal actions if the outcome may be reversed by execution of the presiding judge by lethal injection or a .22 bullet to the base of the skull. Yes, S.51 has provisions to allow reversal of troublesome judgments by Congress upon elimination of the judge in the case.
This mild level of intimidation may also cause some of the judges to seek early retirement or, hopefully, not accept judgeship in the first place. Congress might have to expand some to take over these responsibilities but certainly a couple of subcommittees can take care of such adjudication. Everyone knows judges are just slackers in black, a kind of legal Beat poet.
UPDATE: I shouldn't write bitterly cynical satire in this blog without warning. Sorry. It's a joke, a sick joke from my fetid imagination. Clicking through the link for S.51 at the top takes you to an actual current bill with this title: "A bill to ensure that women seeking an abortion are fully informed regarding the pain experienced by their unborn child." And this is somehow less outrageous than my faux bill description, right?