Thursday, November 04, 2004
The Unbearable Darkness of Being
"It's Wednesday morning and after staying up late to watch election returns, I've had a restless night. I fight to stay asleep, to postpone the inevitable moment when I'll get up - and know. As I lay in bed, a friend's comment from last night echoes in my head: 'It's not our country anymore.'
As I struggle to get through the day, dragging around the weight beginning to settle on my heart, her words stay with me. They echo in the back of my head when I hear Kerry's concession speech; watch the CNN blowhards natter on about 'unity'; read the inevitable lefty post-mortems that crowd my e-mail inbox.
They talk about everything except the obvious: It hurts! All this ink spilt on the
sell-out Democratic Party, the incompetent media, and the future of a divided nation and not a word about the emotional reality of loss. Do you think it's because they're mostly men? Natch.
All the blame-mongering in the world can't erase the pain or, more importantly, the fear. My mind can handle the body blow of defeat, but it's the slow, seeping chill of dread that is harder to fend off."